No, You Can't See My Panties

In spite of the Evil-X-LARGE-Granny-Panties-As-Christmas-Present that my Mom bought me one year, back when I was a professional dancer (no not THAT kind. I wore real clothes. Top AND bottom. For the entire time), and my IQ was beating my weight hands down. The very panties I have been mocking for the last decade and a half, as in "Yeah, I may be heavier now, but at least I don't fit the Granny Panties". In spite of the fact that as of this month, the Granny Panties actually fit my swollen, bulbous butt, it seems I am moderate in all things, a veritable medium in the Personality Profile of life.

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium. You are generally broad minded when it come to new things. But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it. You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

If Life were truly Evil, the Gigantic Panties that Swallowed Southern California would be too tight. For now, life is good.

But I'm still starting that diet.