Monday, January 21, 2008

Drawing Lines in the, Garage Floor

A while back, when we were first (or second) discussing what we would like to do around the house, LB turned to me one day and said, "If you could decorate one room in the house any way you like, do anything you want, would it be okay if I did one room any way I like?" I must have looked a little wary, or confused at least, and when I didn't answer right away, he rushed on. "Which room would you like, would you like the master bathroom?"

Um, blink. Blink, blink.

I'm trying to come up with an answer to that while simultaneously running through all the options for which room/what the hell he's planning on doing with it that would require a bribe like that. I mean, come on. It's not like we can afford to replace the hand towels without running up a budgetary impact report, but pie-in-the-sky dreaming of doing "whatever I want" with the master bath could some distant day translate into a Japanese soaking tub, skylight and fireplace. Knowing me, and knowing that, what's he got in mind for his room? Los Angeles Valley Community Broth3l? Black-velvet-painting Elv!s shrine with mandatory white sequin jumpsuits for all guests? My brains are rocketing back and forth between visions of copper tubs and corner steam showers (good), and our living room someday looking like a goth-dungeon threw up on a tiki lounge (very, very bad).

"S.s.s.sure, honey..." I stammered. "Whatever you want." I tried not to flinch. "What room did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking... I'd like to do something with... the garage."

The garage? Is he serious? I mean, he must be since he's still standing there, staring at me as if he really needs to wait for the answer. But, the garage? Seriously? I do know it's ATTACHED to the house. It's a PART of the house. But... I'd never really considered it a room IN the house. Still, I can't believe that's it. There's got to be a catch. Does he really think that he's coming out ahead in this deal? That I'd say "no" to what he knows I would consider a legally binding agreement to someday pick out any tub I want in order to, to... to what? To reserve the right to decide what color the concrete floor in the garage ends up? To have veto power over which side of the room the workbench is on?

"No, that's great," I finally managed to say.

Today, while I slept (back around to working nights, long story), he went out and bought fancy track lighting for the garage. Hmmm. Still a little vague on details, but he has assured me it's not going to be the Neighborhood Br0thel, so I'll keep you posted.


At 4:27 PM, January 27, 2008, Blogger Zombie Mom said...

Really, I wish we could just have to apartments in one building and a big shared bedroom (decorated by me, of course) in the middle.

That way we could each decorate to our hearts content. I lean towards Morrocan and rich colors and Mr. Bitch towards stacks of stuff on top of POMO furniture....

At 7:18 AM, January 28, 2008, Blogger panda said...

LB's actually got excellent taste (thank goodness). What scared me was the thought that whatever he was planning required a "free rein with the bathroom" bribe. You don't offer that kind of carte blanche bribe without a reason.

Evidently, LB's does. Who knew. (shrug)

The two apartments idea is pretty brilliant, though. Hmmmmmmm.


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