F is for...

Well, I have lost my skillz at test taking in the eons since I last matriculated. I actually went up a pound with all my fancy working out and dieting. Score! And once the blood dried and the dust settled, I had a blinding headache and irrefutable proof that I truly do prefer blissful ignorance. I am officially overweight.

I am, however, just shy of the dreaded "obese" label, so I am hanging on to what little delusion I can. Even so, I've been forced to buckle under to their wretched "diet plan" to go with my side of muscle soreness.

But I am no mindless program drone. I wince tall. I hunch proud. I hobble defiant. For what it's worth, I will never refer to two ounces of chicken, a small tortilla and a tablespoon of ranch dressing as a "Meal".

And they can't make me.

...can they?